How to Absolutely Ruin Your Job Search After Getting Fired (And What to Do Instead)

How to Absolutely Ruin Your Job Search After Getting Fired (And What to Do Instead)

So, you got fired. Ouch. But don’t worry—you still have plenty of ways to make things worse! If you’re looking to turn this career hiccup into a full-blown disaster, here are the surefire ways to do just that. (Or, you know, maybe don’t do these things.)

1. Put “Fired for Questionable Decision-Making” Right on Your Resume

Want to make recruiters instantly swipe left? Be brutally honest and list “Terminated for performance issues” or “Got caught napping in the break room—twice” under your job history. Nothing screams “Hire me!” like a self-inflicted career crime scene.

✅ Better idea: Keep it professional. Use neutral phrases like “Position ended” and let your experience do the talking.

2. Use Your Cover Letter as a Tell-All Confession

Your cover letter is the perfect place to let it all out. Go ahead, start with “Look, things went downhill fast at my last job…” and finish strong with “But I swear I’m a changed person!” Extra points if you include a sob story about your ex-boss’s bad attitude.

✅ Better idea: Keep the past in the past. Focus on your strengths, the skills you bring to the table, and what makes you a great hire.

3. Ghost the Topic in Your Interview (and Pray They Don’t Ask)

The best way to handle getting fired? Pretend it never happened. If the interviewer asks why you left, stare at them blankly until they change the subject. If that fails, fake a Wi-Fi issue or suddenly “lose audio.”

✅ Better idea: Be brief, be honest, and pivot to how you’ve grown from the experience. Employers appreciate accountability—not avoidance.

4. List Your Ex-Boss as a Reference (for the Drama)

There’s nothing like a surprise call to your old boss to keep things interesting. Maybe they’ll be professional—or maybe they’ll passionately rehash that one time you microwaved fish in the office kitchen. It’s a gamble!

✅ Better idea: Choose references who will actually vouch for your skills and work ethic.

5. Go on a Job Search Strike (Because It’s Hopeless, Right?)

Why even try? Just sit back, binge-watch old sitcoms, and wait for a dream job to land in your lap. (Spoiler alert: It won’t.)

✅ Better idea: Take action! A strong resume and cover letter will put you back in the game.

6. Write Your Resume in Comic Sans (Or Better Yet, Crayon)

Your resume should really stand out—so why not make it rainbow-colored with a fun handwritten font? Bonus points if you replace bullet points with emojis.

✅ Better idea: Use a professional, ATS-friendly resume template. (Rezi AI has those. Just saying.)

7. Wait Until Midnight to Apply, Using a 2011 Resume

Hiring managers love seeing outdated resumes that still list “Proficient in MS Word” as a skill. And what better time to send applications than 1:37 AM, so your email gets buried under 200 others by morning?

✅ Better idea: Update your resume now and apply strategically.

Don’t Wreck Your Comeback—Let Rezi AI Help!

Let’s be real—job hunting is hard enough without shooting yourself in the foot. Instead of making these mistakes, let Rezi AI do the heavy lifting. Our AI-powered resume, cover letter, and interview coaching tools make sure you present yourself like the rockstar candidate you are.

💡 Get started now—because the only thing funnier than this article is waiting around for a job that isn’t coming. 🚀 Build your resume today!

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